retry5
Let me start off by saying this... This new 'bout of depression and anxiety, and remembering, and anger is the worst it has ever been I think.. Compared to the previous years...
I am remembering more than I care to.. I am feeling more than I care to. and I am hating more than I care to.
I guess I'm just feeling really crappy right now... I really don't feeling like doing anything today... But I have to go to work..
I got a reply from the lady from PAAR, and she said she pass my info on. so we'll see what happens with that.
I can't even put into words what I am feeling right now.. I just feel like I had a lot of caffeine and edgy, with great sadness thrown in.. I think that kind of explains it...
Don't know...
I just want to get on with my life, and get over this, but I fear it will just keep getting worse...
Today has already started off with a reminder, of all the crap, that happened to me, and all the pain I get to relive, over and over again.... As is the case in Pittsburgh, and being so far behind the rest of the country.. The local news is reporting on the child porn sites, that newsweek did a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if it's just because the news here is slow to report things, or what... All I know is it brought back my anger.. at how people can even think about the stuff they do to children... I'm really hating people right now. It's probably why I have trust issues..
Right now, it just seems like I will never get away from the pain, and that it will always be there, and there will always be something there to bring me down and remind me of it, when ever I think i have put it behind me..
I Gotta go..........